again i have so much going through my head thinking about my therapy appointment tomorrow . i want so badly to be able to talk to her about things . it is a completely different feeling then wanting to talk to her in the past. i dont know if this feeling will pass but for now it is what it is . its like i have this want to just move on . i see all this misery . have all this hopelessness. all these feelings of horribleness ,hat for who i am . so cynical of life . like i have nothing of value to offer anyone in this life . on and on and on . it is ruling my life, that along with feeling like i just dont belong in this world .that i never ever had a place from the moment i was born. i really belonged to no one and no one wanted me . i was just there . to serve whatever needs needed to be dealt with . i want to talk to my therapist about all of it . it for some reason seems like i will never have enough time to do this . not with one hour a week . i have this huge need for her to help me figure this all out . i want to either just move on with my life and be happy with who i am, accept my limitations and stop wanting to be like normal people .im probably not making a lot of sense to people but it is just a lot going on here in my head . im feeling so horrible about family stuff and that isnt going away. i was wanted by nobody . anyway im very confused and just wish i could figure out how to be ok with talking about it to my T