it makes me so sad because i know how the people feel that do commit the act...
they feel like it is the only escape or ultimate release...
but i tell myself that its really not what i want, i want to kill the illness, not myself..

life is truly beautiful... i try to focus on the beauty of it...
even though its really hard to do that, its just the only thing i know to do - keep reminding myself of good things... its better than cursing myself out all day and causing triggers and blabla - i trigger myself alot

life is not hard or easy.... those are subjective terms...
life just is... we have to do what we can with what we have...
i have severe depression as well so im not trying to preach or anything...
i just try to see things differently i guess... i feel like a lunatic though
just have to keep reminding myself of good things... the list of good things is really short though
im hoping to make it longer in the future

i try to be as strong as possible for everyone else out there that feels this @$^@
feel like if i can survive, maybe it will help someone else survive... and if we all work together maybe we could really win this war...
i just feel a connection with people that are depressed more than i do with anyone... i guess because they can understand me on a certain level..

hang in there...
we can survive... we can thrive, but we must not allow our demise