Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
I was talking about how it feels like there is a load of pain inside of me which feels unreachable, and I don't know what it is or how to feel it. T suggested one of the reasons it feels so hard to define could be that it relates to preverbal experiences.
Since he said that, I have been feeling very anxious and can't stop thinking about it because it has struck a chord with me. I have had a few dreams since the last session, including one where I was travelling in an aeroplane looking at the curve of the earth when I suddenly realised how tiny I am and became overwhelmed with fear. I had another dream where I bit into an apple and found it rotten at the core and crawling with insects. Another one where I had to go down a long tunnel, but somebody had put a big locked iron door there so I couldn't get any further. All these dreams seem pretty significant to me and related to T's suggestion about preverbal experiences.
I tried to clear my mind of cognitive thought and create a collage to see if it helped me to express anything significant but I don't know if the results mean anything or if they're random (or contrived). I don't trust myself or my memories, and because I deal in truth and cognition, I find this abstract concept difficult to deal with.
I haven't had the opportunity to talk about this with T in any detail yet, but I am wondering if anyone here has had similar feelings, and how are those feelings dealt with and explored in therapy?
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how its dealt with in therapy in short depends upon that treatment providers usage of the word pre verbal. for example in my location with my treatment provider pre verbal has two different definitions.
the first one means before a child reaches an age where they can speak words.
the second definition in my location means the same thing as non verbal \traditional speach communication....ie body language.... how a person sits, facial expressions, eye contact, sighs, moans, grunts, breathing...
example one time i had a problem with feeling like a feeling was unreachable\ cant put words to how I was feeling.
my treatment provider said ok so maybe this is a pre verbal. look at how you are sitting. are you sitting straight and tall or are you sitting hunched over, with drawn, are you fidgeting, are you smiling, frowning. this gave me the understanding of how I was feeling in the situation we were discussing. it had nothing to do with being a newborn incapable of communicating I was hungry or in pain, wet and such. it had nothing to do with being an infant of one or two months old when babies learn their first speech of babbles and imitating noises to let someone know they are in pain, being hurt, hungry cold wet... and it had nothing to do with being a toddler of 1 to 3 where children learn to put their sounds, babbles and small words together to form sentences. and the situation with me and my therapist had nothing to do with being 4 on up to adulthood. I Just didnt have the correct words in that moment to describe what I was feeling so we went with it was preverbal communication situation.
my suggestion is talk with your treatment provider. they will explain to you what they meant by the term pre verbal and help you to find ways to work around your pre verbal issue regardless of what the definition is according to your own treatment provider.