I just wanted to tell someone this but, lately I haven't been feeling right. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I go into this state where I'm drowsy or sleepy like and in it I start to act a whole different person.
I'm begin to act weird and say the most random things, whistling tunes and what can seem as silly but then there's another side. I'm emotionally unsteady, the way I talk changes (I start to cuss I a lot), and my demeanor can go from cold and calm to irritated and about to lose it. Because I never show high emotion outside my head, they don't see the fits or the emotional distress I go through. I argue a lot with the voices in my head so I have a lot of emotional trauma from it.
After, the worst there's a personality switch to a softer side that reminds of submissive woman that keeps accepting her abusive boyfriend just to get hurt again to another personality that's still submissive but in a way that reminds of a situation where he's getting abused/influenced by his friends who take advantage of him and make him do things that are wrong or dangerous but he's trying to fit so he does it anyway.
And yes, I said "he" and "she" before. My personalities switch genders all the time. After this cycle, everything just goes numb and dull and I can't feel anything except anxiety for something to happen the next day.
It took me two hours just to write this and I'm not good at expressing myself so probably it's hard to understand. I tried telling my counselor/psych. about these things but it's a total failure. I feel like nobody listens to me and the only you can get attention is if you do something dramatic like self harm, which by the way I'm leaning too.
It's so frustrating but nobody takes me serious!