You get exactly where I'm coming from. And I know what you mean about snapping back from distraction. I'm really good at distracting myself on weekends, probably because I just get high and watch TV or play video games with bf. But there are those moments when my focus breaks. Last weekend it happened once while we were messing around and tickling each other. Suddenly the anxiety hit me while we stopped to take a breath, and I had to get all serious fast so I could ask for some space. It was terrible, I can't stand the look on bf's face when it happens, like he just hurts much for me.

I think I lost my point somewhere in there. I don't know anymore. I'm sorry I can't reply to your posts like I want to, I keep getting sidetracked and then I wear myself out. Thank you for continuing to post to me though. It really helps to talk to someone who really gets it.

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