Must get out of bed and get myself to T. It has been really difficult to control my feelings of overwhelming sadness and loneliness and anger in my last few T appointments... it worries me a little. Between appts I mostly feel numb, and dissociate quite a lot, not very badly, just so I never feel quite present, and it's hard for me to understand what people say.

And I really don't want to go to work afterwards. Maybe I'll just go home after, and work from here - I have no meetings or teaching today and so am not required to be on campus. Several unpleasant things going on at work, and I avoid going there unless I really have to.