I have hated the "you're strong" "a survivor"...at least when I am down&out...I think it is that WE HAVE NO CHOICE. It is like telling people, just after the storm blew the whole house away "It's just things. You are strong. You will be fine." with no space for grieving....(& this happens, I think, more and more as the news moves at a greater rate, we no sooner have children gunned down at school than we are "rebuilding, moving ahead" the next day. It is lunacy. (find the stories describing the return to areas of devastation years later...not so rosy a picture....)
It is not like we are lifting weights and being praised for increasing the challenge. THAT is when you want to hear how strong you are...when you have run the marathon you thought you might not be able to...when you have chosen to suffer to grow...to be rewarded by your body/spirit/community
not when the earth opens underfoot, not when the wall knocks you down in the dark once more
oh I am rambling.....