First thing I think is that you can't "kind of" lose your virginity. You either did or didn't. It sounds like you did.
Second I'm going to preach about safe sex & hope that there was protection used on both sides considering you just met. Casual sex is the best place for an std. Enough said.
And third is......you sound very torn ilikecats. Why? I think you need to answer that.
If you feel like you're ready to explore sexually then protect yourself, educate yourself & have a good experience.
But if you're feeling badly over the experience & rethinking why, then you need to answer that question.
Was there something in your past that has come up?
Is this due to peer pressure?
Is it hormonal?
Meds?
MH issue? Etc.

What are you trying to get or feel from these encounters?
Why are you rushing????