Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Have you researched emotional neglect? Childhood Emotional Neglect
When I was such a mess, none of my therapists could figure out why because my parents were nice, good, provided my needs, no abuse, no trauma, no pain. Then I got into a marriage where I hid in my career & it wasn't until that ended & no where to escape that I felt like I was dealing with emotional abuse which later research has made me realize it was emotional neglect.....none of it is intentional on their part it's because they had no idea HOW to be emotionally connected. It wasn't intentional abuse....but it definitely WAS unintentional NEGLECT because they didn't know any better & well, my H has an diagnosed condition that definitely has to do with being unable to emotionally connect that I have researched & it all makes sense now.....I left it all & my life turned around. I realized that if it was ME, I would have brought the problems with me but I didn't & I don't & I'm learning how to be a more normal person now & have countered the effects of the neglect & am surrounded by the most wonderful people & friends. |
I've heard of it, but I don't know. I mean, I don't even believe in emotional abuse, how can emotional neglect be valid? Sure, I was kind of ignored psychologically, but it doesn't really matter. I talked about it on here before, and most likely my mother was emotionally unavailable due to her own psych issues (depression/bipolar, exasperated by grief). So I'm just kind of used to not taking my own psych issues that seriously.
Same with not being able to connect, though really, I've had that problem since early childhood. I don't have the first idea how to actually, maturely connect with other people. Closest I ever came was latching onto someone and using them as a love dispenser (never again). How can that be from neglect, though? And what does it even matter?
EDIT: I feel like I should explain my newfound views on "emotional abuse". Basically, toughen up. Someone hurting your feelings is not abuse. If you're worthless, figure out how not to be worthless. If you're fat and ugly, fix it. They're telling you the truth and you just can't handle it. You don't deserve to be coddled, you're trash. Everyone is unless they're born exceptionally talented, or work their asses off for perfection. And calling someone's emotional outbursts 'abuse' is even more pathetic. They can do whatever they want, especially if they're above you in some way.
I don't want to believe any of this, but I had to realize it's true. Your feelings are never valid, and people can do whatever they want to them. If you feel abused, it's your fault for being to weak to handle it.
And for the record, I've experienced treatment that qualifies as emotional abuse. The entire reason I ended up where I am is because someone advocated for me being a victim of emotional and mental abuse. I also know I'm a weak person, and there isn't much I can do about that (I believe strength and weakness are inherent; strong people can have moments of weakness and weak people can learn to appear strong, but the core self doesn't change). So I've rejected the term. I'm just a screw-up who needs to learn how to be less of a screw-up.