I'm so sorry notwithhaste! It sounds like the knot keeps on tightening.

You're in an impossible situation that will be painful no matter what you do. Leaving this therapist is optimal, but understandably it's not that easy.

It seems like these 'relationship' type conversations aren't helping. There are certain truths that I think you have to get comfortable with, and I give her credit for not lying to you. She can't always be there for you. She's not your mom. She may raise your rates. She is going to get angry and is going to take it out on you from time to time (right or wrong). If you are going to continue seeing her, you have to work within these walls.

You say that being warm and caring and helpful are her strengths - why not re direct the conversation to something not so triggering for both of you and work within that space? Let her help you with a real life problem and see how that goes?

Just to clarify, I am not condoning her behavior at all - just making suggestions that could bring some trust back to this relationship and buy you time till you can figure out a long term plan.