Hi Elektra,
I'm sorry you're struggling so much

But kind of two ways I'm going here.............
Firstly your T...........I can't see how it's even appropriate for him/her to bring that about your mother and the pregnancy into it (!!!!), that doesn't necessarily have to shape her feelings about you
now, or about
you as a person!!! There is a
vast difference between some natural uncertainties about a life changing experience of having a baby and about
actually raising a "real person",
getting to know a "real person".
But not knowing your relationship right now with your mother..........a mothers feelings towards you don't have to completely define you or your worth at all

That would be
one perspective
only, and you can still be lovable to
plenty of different people for
plenty of different reasons..........and I believe everyone is going to have some good qualities

And secondly, all the crap you've been going through...........it sounds like you've had a lot to cope with

Do you think maybe you're needing some more support to deal with some of that?? Even if some of it is "behind you"??
If you want to talk about it a bit more on here, maybe we could help you in working through it/past it..........or support you in ways to eventually work towards that "break"??
Alison