Hi UnstableGoldfish.

I am sad that you are stuggling with reconciling your childhood memories or lack of….This can cause all manner of distress. I endured dreadful trauma in my late teens, yet have only scattered memories of the events which over the years have caused me great anxiety and filled my head with numerous scenarios. I was fortunate to find a very patient and experienced psychiatrist, who spent several years helping me rebuild my psyche, enabling me to leave those fragmented memories in the past and move on with building a life in the present. He and I never once explored these lost memories, but built strategies to compartmentalise them. I no longer have the need to know what happened as I work toward stability and joy in the present….I now choose life.

Sounds very simplified when I write about this here…but a generous Therapist can help you with these issues.