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Old Apr 12, 2016, 05:09 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx View Post
I have always hid away and try to brush off my problems under the carpet. I am known as very private irl. I had speech amd language difficulties so it's more difficult for me to speak and a lot more easy for me to type. I can write streams on how I feel but with my speech I'll always come out with "I'm ok." It's just how I am
I do the same. I have great difficulty giving expression to my problems. But also in writing.

I seek attention in really unhealthy ways (I have borderline personality traits), so strictly speaking, I am an attention-seeker, but I totally agree the condescending, to paraphrase what you said, I hope, way that people use that word is really just blaming someone for seeking attention, seeking help and understanding, assuming there isn't a real problem because it is very to difficult to explain.

Another problem is that damaging oneself is often purely or primarily seen as seeking attention.

For me, and I think many like me, it is not so much seeking attention, but primarily creating a reason for the problems one has, a way to explain them and find more peace of mind.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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