ltlredvett - Okay, let's tackle these questions/thoughts...boy am I glad I found you guys! :-)

> First and foremost you need to stop with the online chatting
> immediately (I've been there). And, then you need to open
> up the lines of cummunication with your wife (without
> telling her about the online escapades). You need to be
> able to express your feelings about the realtionship and
> explore why you are bored. Are you bored in your physical
> relationship, or do you feel emotionally distanced from her?

As I pointed out in a previous message, mother nature and pay cuts are helping me out there, in as far as online chatting. I'm more bored in a social sense. We don't go out anywhere except to the mall, to eat and to visit her parents. I find that we don't share interests like going out to movies (she admited that to me once), concerts, roller coasters, water slides and she's clausterphobic (she does get scared around a huge group of people). She's not as outgoing as other members in her family, which makes sense. I guess what I'm saying is that I lack that social excitement that I was looking forward to when I asked her to married me. I thought that was going to happen. Maybe I'm being unfair.

> Counseling could help BUT you have to be sure to get the
> right therapist. You need a therapist that is experienced in
> dealing with relationships, but more importantly one that will
> be very direct and one that is looking out for what is in both
> of your best interests.

How would you know which is the right therapist?

> From my experience cheating of any kind is not the
> answer, it only makes the situation worse. Much worse. It
> is always easier to salvage what you have, and I think in
> most cases it can be salvaged.

It isn't. I think it's more like an amplification of what is currently wrong in a relationship. Kind of like the person I'm having an affair with is what I wish my wife was more like. As you say, the marriage can be salvaged. Maybe I just need to learn to compromise.

> Good luck.

Thanks