I have a t that believes that fear of emotions is a key part of dissociating. So we've been working on my fear of feeling like a failure, grief, loneliness, abandoned, rejected. It has helped the dissociation. I do have to say that I am now feeling some of those emotions that I don't want to feel. T warned me that this might happen.

For example, I am avoiding calling my brother who is in the midst of an ugly divorce/custody battle and not seeing his children. I avoid calling because I don't want to (am afraid of) feeling sad. Or of feeling what his kids must be feeling about not seeing their dad. But I really want to support my brother. Ugh.