We've all fallen short in many ways, done things we have regretted, hurt people, etc. We all are selfish and self-absorbed in many ways. The key is to forgive yourself for all of it so that you are not crushed by the weight of self-hate. I know, easier said than done, but what is the alternative? Like so many things, it is a daily practice, not a one-time event. I wish you the best.