Big hugs to you. I'm not exactly sure I can relate, but I do get some of what you are writing. If what I write doesn't apply, I apologize in advance.

At work and in all social situations, I would get screwed with. People whispering, screaming, slamming, banging. People putting me in situations, just to screw with me. Because of my issues, I never knew if any of it was real. All I knew was, it followed me everywhere. I'd ask my friend and families opinion and they agreed I was being screwed with. They even thought I should sue, that they contributed to my mental and physical illness. I didn't go through with it because it happens in all groups. Especially if I stand up for myself. The only constant is me. Doesn't mean I'm entirely wrong, but it's an indication the problem is with me. I would be so distraught and sick, I would wait till I hit the freeway before I would break down crying. I was so afraid I'd pass someone from work and they'd see me.

Some people are really nice though. You can sense their goodness. They are so hard to find. The world is made up of 70% jerks and 30 % decently kind people.

I'm tempted to say "find another job". But I don't agree with that anymore. I mean, no matter where you go, there you are. Talk to a professional about this. Don't rely on friends and family unless you really feel they know everything. Hugs to you and best of luck.