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Old Apr 13, 2016, 01:39 PM
Anonymous55906
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I promised myself I would never do this, but I'm breaking my promise.

I wanted to ask this specific community if this sounds like schizophrenia. Anyways, I am 23 years old. I have had OCD my entire life. A year and a half ago my OCD got really bad and I started obsessing and through panic attacks I developed PTSD and Depersonalization Disorder. But I am starting to doubt that is is Depersonalization disorder and might be early psychosis. My DP has steadily gotten worse over the last year, I have had horrible obsessions with existential thoughts. I felt like I was dreaming, I even had a symptom where I was scared of reality itself because the fact that we existed scared me. But about a month ago I developed an even more concerning symptom. It started with dreaming everynight.. Intense vivid dreams. Then one night I was watching a movie and I was falling asleep, something strange happened. Half way between sleep and consciousness I started dreaming, dreaming before I was asleep! I felt like I was in the movie I was watching! But I was still slightly awake. I had a panic attack and started obsessing over that symptom a lot. And since its gotten worse, coupled with my DP I am suffering from a particular feeling i can't describe. Its like a mix between Deja Vu and intense day dreaming.. Anything triggers this feeling and it usually only lasts seconds. Smells, pictures, sometimes nothing at all can trigger it. Sometimes its past memories i feel like I'm reliving, sometimes its completely new things. I will try my best to describe. The other day I was driving in my car and felt the warm air on my arm, I got this intense feeling like I was on the beach, somewhere tropical. I didn't LITERALLY see anything like an hallucination but almost. Like a delusion, I truly felt like I was there again. Its more a feeling, not an hallucination. But it makes me confused... Like i question where I am truly am and it makes me panic. Its been horrible since, I feel like I'm mixing my vivid dreams with reality. These "day dream" feelings are now happening multiple times a day, I feel like I'm truly somewhere else but I'm not? Also, sometimes these feelings are mixed with a dark and sinister vibe to them? Like maybe I died and I'm in Hell and this is isn't realty. Just an intense feeling... that makes me feel confused and panic, because I am scared I'm losing my mind, becoming delusional... developing schizophrenia..What do you guys think?
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Anonymous37780