Every day I wake up, I look in the mirror checking how much weight I lost. I'm not overweight. I'm at a healthy weight. I feel satisfied if I lose a good amount of weight or gained muscle. I just try to feel perfect, because I can't control the fact when I talk to girls, they don't care. I don't care, but they don't care that I don't care.

So I always this impression no one likes me or they confuse my sexuality because of behaviours I do.

I'm tired of girls throwing me under the bus. I'm tired of wanting to get high and hating myself for being alone. I dont' want a relationship. I just want someone to stay .

I don't care for it all or nothing. I don't care for any of it. Just people suck ***. They are horrible and I'm like a leaf in the wind being knocked around everywhere I never land on a safe patch I just get torn up.