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I'm sorry it's gotten so bad. How is the IOP going, helping at all? Maybe you could discuss this issue there and get some feedback if it's the illness that is creating the negative thoughts or if it's a real possibility?
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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