Perhaps your husband would benefit from reading a bit about depression and what to do for the person who is depressed. His local library could be helpful or maybe just google. I think you need to tell him that while you appreciate his help, a to-do list is making you more anxious. He is, in his own weird way, trying to help but is not considering that what he is doing may not be interpreted as encouragement. I think people who have a partner who is depressed feel that things are out of control and try to get some control back into the situation. Anyway, tell him how you feel and what you need and send him reading!