I don't remember being depressed with no reason. I get depressed because of my social isolation and the continuous failure to socialize and having stable relationships. I get depressed when others don't give me their attention because I cannot attract their attentions. But when I get depressed over social life, trying to socialize becomes harder. I'm still forcing myself to get out there, and try to talk to people. At first I will be filled of energy and hope, but every single time I go out to socialize I end up at home wanting to cry. My motivation to socialize is diminishing.

All my classmates from school are married and have children, cars, homes, ... etc, and I still cannot socialize or having a stable life. I chose to pursue my education and immigrate to have a better life, yet I've reaped loneliness and sadness instead. I'm not a fatalist, but it appears as if I'm destined to be alone and miserable. It's easy to say I'm the one who puts myself in this situation, and I know I have to change, but it's not happening.

Most people who come here to present their problems come for a short time and go. That's what I've noticed. The people who are active all the time are trying to help those who come for their problems, and maybe occasionally present some challenges they face, yet it seems that I'm the only one who keeps talking about his problems. I no longer have the motivation to try to help others because I cannot help myself. I wish this can be stopped.

Probably it's getting boring to hear this again. I'm bored with the same thoughts myself. I'm not asking for suggestions. No feedback is necessary. Thanks for reading.