So I have been dating a girl now for the past 4 months. We have lots in common, common goals long term short term and interests.

She however is Very insecure.

I have done several hours reading about insecurity and how to help a person. I see lots of things listed that she does. Some examples of this are.... I tell her she is beautiful. Her reply is no I'm not. I tell her I love her, Her reply is to stop, don't say that. She repeatedly tells me she does not deserve me. I'm too good for her, She will not make me happy. I tell her when talking on the phone it is nice to hear her voice or when I see her in person it is nice to see her, and her reply is it is just a voice or it is just me.

She admits to being insecure, and admits that she needs help and should see a therapist. But also insists that she does not have time.

She is under a good bit of stress. She works a regular 9-5 job m-f. But also works a 2nd job as a waitress. She does the waitress job 3 nights a week plus sat and sun. She recently got a new part time waitress job that will be less demanding of her time. She will be able to quit the current more demanding one in 2 weeks, and is now training at the new one. So currently she is literally working 3 jobs, 7 days a week.

She is regularly tired, emotionally worn out and stressed. I continually via voice or text, send her messages of encouragement. I tell her that I care and that I'm here to support her. I remind her that I and her children lover her and appreciate her and are here for her..

She has Told me that she will push people away. I have experienced this several times now over the past 4 months. She will go completely dark. Like she is shutting down. I will get no response to text messages or phone calls. This can last up to week or more. The 1st time it happened, I thought she was moving on and was no longer interested. I have read this will happen in times of great stress. This has happened again this week, with her working the 3 jobs.

She will also say that people tell her how nice and kind she is, but claims that is not who she really is. That nobody knows who she really is. I do not believe this and feel this is an excuse.

She Shows lots of physical affection, but does not express in words. She says she is not a good communicator, and this I do see. She will on rare occasions tell me she appreciates my texts and my support.

I know I read some insecure people can be clingy or controlling. I however have not seen either of these traits.

My question or piece of advice I'm looking for here is when she shuts down, and pushes me away what should I do? From what I have read, and if I understand it correctly I should NOT stop being supportive. Am I correct in this? Should I still continue to send her text messages of support? Still tell her I care? Should I possibly maybe send a snail mail letter telling her I care and support her. Or am I overwhelming her by doing this? She has told me in the past that I have done nothing wrong that it is all her.

I am hoping in a few weeks that once she is able to be done with the more demanding waitress job that she will feel less stressed. And will feel that she has time to see a therapist.

thanks for any and all input here.