Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookster
I'm not used to feeling anything other than blank and numb the last couple of years. I've seem to have lost the meaning and feeling of most emotions..
Tho yesterday was a bad bad day, I was seriously angry all day long, and then I'd feel like I wanted to cry and I'd get angry again, it just kept flip flopping all day long. Everything I tried didn't work.. I couldn't even numb myself with a game on the iPad, I'd get upset and throw the iPad.. Before I broke the thing or got drunk I decided to go for a drive and try to take some pictures... It kinda worked tho still made me want to cry, which for some reason I won't do... Thankfully I didn't drink, I didn't cry and I made it through the day somehow..
Brings up something a little off topic of this message... How many of you have realized you depend on the others to help regulate yourself? I feel like I'm starting to do it more and more again..
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i had a few years where i think i felt more range of emotions, though looking back now i am not sure. things were more stable then overall at least.
i know that normally i feel numb/nothing with rare times where i'll feel something positive (like when seeing certain family members) or when something is triggered and i dissociate or feel something from the others, etc. otherwise, it's just numbness.
i never understood how random emotions would come up because they didn't seem to match with the situation..so it has taken a long time to piece that together.
what do you mean by depending on the others to help regulate yourself?