You joined a competition because it was your free will, right? So that's a choice you made, and just like life, sometimes the effects of our choices are unpredictable. I hope your parents weren't too mad about the expectations, but think about it this way. I wish to not spur any negative feelings, but it's better to pursue activities outside of the classroom than to be #1 without any experience at all. Also, I see that you're from Indonesia, so I'm not sure how the school system works over there, but you may have the chance to increase your grades/rank with time. You're still young and human, you are bound to make mistakes. That's normal, so if you got something out of the competition and learned from the mistakes that you think you made, that'll be beneficial to you Hope I helped!