Thread: What happened?
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Old Apr 14, 2016, 06:32 AM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
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Quote:
I would be happy, of course. Is that the wrong thing to feel?
Well, first of all there is the distinction between what you feel and what you do.

Feelings are not right or wrong and it isn't wrong to feel happy.

Quote:
You gotta play harder ball, like Triple V [meaning the poster here Valentina VVV, see #10 in this thread]. Don't take any crap from anyone. It sends the wrong message, that you think you deserve it. You don't.
What Lefty is saying, I think, is that the guy has been jerking you around (see bolded material below).

Quote:
Then he stopped messaging me for a while. I thought all was lost, but then out of the blue, he messaged me again. So I asked to exchange numbers and we did and started texting each other for a while.

We made plans to meet up but he said his work was running late and that we'd have to reschedule. [Iirc he said "We'll figure something out.] Then he stopped texting me altogether.
He is not taking your feelings into consideration, he is not being consistently kind. He is, actually, rude.

What are the consequences of his behavior in your relationship with him?

If you are simply happy to have him back, he learns that it doesn't matter whether or not he is a steady, reliable, responsible guy. You are there for him anyways. And so you can expect him to continue being unreliable, inconsiderate, rude. He might be nice at times, but given his behavior so far, the odds are that he is going to bring you heartache if you keep after him. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I would question Lefty when he says "It shows you think you deserve [crap]." I don't know about that. I do think, though, that it shows that you are willing to accept crap. And I also think that if you are willing to accept it, you will get it.

If you are willing to accept crap, you will get crap.

ValentinaVVV's approach is safer. As Lefty says, she doesn't accept any crap. She posted:
Quote:
He gets funky for whatever reason. He can't meet for whatever reason.i tell him:"this is the last time I am texting you." and that is it. Then I find someone else.
My suggestion is to rethink this aspect of relationships. If the guy is flaky, unreliable, rude, if he lets you down, consider dumping him, forgetting about him, and moving on. Play hardball now and spare yourself heartache later.

Last edited by Bill3; Apr 14, 2016 at 06:51 AM.
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