I am afraid. Of nearly everything, all the time. It's like my new "normal". I'm always anxious and can't relax, especially not when I'm alone. Everything sets me off. I'm afraid that I'm making things up, that my symptoms are all in my head. But I don't know how to explain why things are happening, so I guess it's not made up? I don't know, I can't tell.

I had the strangest episode of derealization last night. I don't know if it's ever happened before. I was eating and all of a sudden nothing looked right. I can't explain what was wrong, but everything I focused on just looked wrong. The food, the couch, the coffee table, everything. The only thing that didn't look wrong was the cartoon we were watching. I can't tell how long it lasted, I just stopped trying to focus on anything.

I had a lot of anxiety last night. There was a lot of in-and-out of the building and up-and-down the stairs activity outside my apartment, and it makes me feel so small and closed-in. Bf ended up staying the night so I could relax some. It was such a horrible feeling.