Thanks.
Today went better, it was a beautiful day(yesterday was grey, dark, chilly, windy, and rainy - very depressing), and I went to a sculpture/art/garden park and enjoyed myself for 3 hours in the name of a school project. It was very refreshing. And I've met with all my professors, they're very understanding and accomodating; 3/5 have some level of a personal understanding of depression, and the other two seem to "get it," too - at least they're not calling it a spiritual/personal problem and telling me to get over it as another professor I could have had would. Thank God. Not that I'd take that crap, I'd go to the administration, but who needs that kind of mess. I'm blessed to have the professors I have, and the people in the administration working with me as they are.

So I'm generally up, but still feel pretty weighted. I'm very fearful for my medicine - I'm on the new Cymbalta and it's working well, but my insurance doesn't cover it yet. My doctor can get it approved for the lower dose, but when he tried to take me back to that amount I crashed horribly resulting in suicidal ideation, a mess, and eventually an attempt. So I need it at 120mg/day, but that's not covered. And it's expensive.
So I'm afraid I'll have to try more meds, but I don't think I can be stable enough through that, I'd likely need to be in the hospital for it, and I can't afford to miss any more school.
Urgh.