My new T spent the session today trying to get me to talk about our relationship as I am trying to decide whether to continue to work with her. I found it very difficult but I did find it slightly easier when she brought out some stones with one representing her and one representing me. I still didn't say or do much, for reasons much as you explained, but I think it is clearer in my mind and for that I am somewhat grateful.

I felt that she couldn't or wouldn't get near me, despite me saying I wanted her to, that it would make me feel like she cared if she came towards me in a literal sense.

It is hard, I will give you that, especially if you have no experience. It is like a foreign language isn't it.