don't give enough sex - does not equate to someone bad. who is to say his expectations are some kind of standard that you fail to meet? No if he judges you by the fact that your sexual needs differ, that is a problem but being in a relationship is not just a one direction thing where one person is at the beck and call of the other for all his or her needs whether sexually or otherwise! In many relationships males expect and want more sex than the female wants to give and that's quite natural but no, that doesn't make all those females out there in your shoes are bad either.

I'm depressed/anxious/autistic, which affects our relationship - if you are all of those things, none of them define either the good or badness of someone. Really there are rare few things that would make anyone a "bad" person, only bad choices and behaviors. Which of these do you actually actively make a choice to be?

I have a crush on someone else - again it is a warning sign that something is not right in your relationship now but it does not make you a bad person. Once again it's not something you exactly have a choice in the matter of, although taking action on that crush could be deemed a bad choice and behavior while being in an existing relationship but you haven't done that. All of this is feelings and thoughts.

I feel desire to be with someone of the same sex - I risk sounding like I'm repeating myself but once again this is something that is not a choice by you but a "desire" a feeling, something that you dont' actively choose. How can that make someone a bad person?

I'm non-heterosexual and non-cisgender, which is something I can't really share with him (he knows I'm bi but knows nothing about my gender), which makes me feel bad - ok so this makes you feel bad but that does not mean you are a bad person either. Perhaps being able to trust someone fully would give you the confidence to share yourself completely but you're not in an environment like that, it seems.

You really take on a lot of undeserved guilt for things related to who you are. Accept what, and who you are. find contentment with yourself or you're going to continue having these fears, guilt and all with him and/or any other partner you have going forward. I honestly would suggest some time alone to get to know yourself and grow but I know almost all people that I say that to reject that idea.