Quote:
Originally Posted by sophiesmom
I don't think people who are insecure (have low self-esteem) are controlling. I do think that we can be clingy.
Compliments are lovely and we tend to really hold the sincere ones close to our hearts...but too often can sound insincere. Encouragement is always appreciated but, likewise, can sound like white noise if overdone...and we feel like you're getting annoyed in a way.
Pushing you away is a test.
I would say that the best thing my husband is, is constant. I trust him and believe him when he tells me I will be okay.
I would listen to you if you told me that you would be there for me, and then checked up on me. But beware....one slip-up and I would not trust you.
I know. We are not easy. And we think we're really annoying.
Please, please use caution with this girl's heart. Let her down easy when the time comes.
Good luck.
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I agree with this whole reply. And don't stop the support because even if we can't believe these compliments ourselves, we still have ears. But yes don't overdo it. It may get overwhelming for her if she truly doesn't feel secure. And yes, beware of the "slip-up" because we tend to have a hard time trusting people in the very beginning as it is. One reason to run from lack of trust or uncomfortable situations and we just may take it for a reason to leave.
Just let her know how much you care and support her but be aware of how it's making her feel and if she has to tell you to stop over again, just give her a little space for a time. She has to really work on this with therapy I think. She needs to learn tools (such as affirmations) to feel better about herself. Low self esteem is a tricky one and it really does take work to get over. It's like reprogramming our whole thought process to avoid negative thoughts about ourselves.