I realized when I was very young that all that mattered was we loved each other and didn't hurt each other. When we did hurt each other it was not directed at us it was usually the result of behavior by one of us. You are lovable. You saved yourself because you are smart and strong I think being loved by someone else comes when we truly themselves. I love us. I am proud of what we have accomplished despite the abuse. Love yourself, see your strengths, and goodness, and you will see that you are lovable. I think we all tend to focus too much on the negative when usually there is more positive. No matter how small there is more positive. Feel better.