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Originally Posted by WrkNPrgress
I have talked a bit about progress in therapy but I've never had the nerve to talk directly about my own feelings about my therapist or about the process and all of that stuff.
I've come to realize how much this mimics my own family dynamic. My family is affectionate, we say "I love you" at the end of every conversation but we don't talk to each other about our feelings, our fears, our needs, or concerns for each other in any direct manner. We figure all our own stuff out internally and 'don't bother' each other with our stuff. This leaves each of us in a worried dark place.
And I feel that way with my Therapist, of course.
Do you ever just talk about your relationship with your T? How do you do it?
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I was thinking about my T obsessively always wondering what she'd think of this, that or the other thing. I was thinking about her about 100x per day and I ended up telling her how consumed I was with her. She thought that it was maternal transference but it really wasn't as we are the same age and I didn't think of her as my mother, but more of an esteemed colleague or boss that I wanted to impress.
Anyhow, we had a falling out about something and I really loathed her and almost walked out one time. I had the courage to go back the next week and had written out some notes so that I wouldn't forget anything. She really didn't take ownership of her part and I was seriously thinking of never going back. The third week was kind of do or die and we talked about our relationship yet again and I felt a little better. Then the 4th week, I talked about a real issue but didn't disclose some details because I still didn't feel close to her, so the next week we talked about that!
I'm basically saying that for the past 6 weeks we've been rebuilding our relationship and getting our trust in each other back. Things are looking better in our relationship now and I hope we continue along that path.
I'm looking forward to discussing real issues next week!
Good luck!