I think I am completely worthless. At my core, I think and feel that.

Clearly I have a lot of insecurity, self esteem and trust issues.

The more I care about someone, the more likely I am to shut down and cut myself off. I don't mean to do it, but I do. Also, the more I care about someone the more likely I am to completely bolt the first time someone says something that makes me think they are insincere, lying, or being critical etc. The second I sense those things I withdraw.

I don't like being a burden and I feel like that is all I am to people. I can't seem to think of anything long term. There is always "for now" or "yet" tacked on. We are good friends... For now. They haven't gotten sick of me... Yet. Etc.

For me, the best thing is when someone continues to send me messages. If they initiate contact with me....it means that they actually want to. Unless it's a "are you ok?" Sort of message, which reinforces the feeling of being a burden. A simple "hey! It's Friday yay!" Makes me smile. It's the little things, the things that don't touch on anything serious for me, that demonstrate someone is actually interested in me.

I have a hard time with compliments. I don't believe them, or I might believe the person but I disagree with their opinion. I used to argue it, but I don't anymore because it just makes it worse for the other person. Instead I keep silent and politely say thank you, and just feel the guilt for being dishonest.

At the same time though... If someone gave me compliments a lot, and then stopped, that would be confirmation for me that I'm right about being worthless and a burden. As someone else said, consistency is key. I need someone to be constant in their behaviour or I jump to the conclusion that I'm the cause for the change and that they are just putting up with me now.

So, I'd keep up with sending messages and just do your best to not get annoyed or overly worried about it.