I've never been on APs really. Maybe some brief period taking my zyprexa willingly. I spent a fair amount of time on a low dose of wellbutrin (150 extended release) but my anxiety was creeping up so I stopped that too. Last year, I went manic and psychotic without being on meds (first year after BP I diagnosis) - caught myself and basically took zyprexa PRN and some sleep meds until I got back to normal - and then crashed to a major depression after. This year, I have done much better. I watch myself a lot for behaviors, I watch my sleep, I try to manage how I respond to triggering events, exercise, eat well. I imagine life would be easier if I just went on the meds but I also feel like I have similar problems to those on here who are med compliant. I would say for me the top reason I stay off of them are I need my brain when it's clear and it seems more likely that that is an option if I am both balanced and off meds, though I don't think imbalanced and off meds is better than balanced on meds.