A woman should look like "herself" not someone else; not an advertisement or a movie star or her mother or anyone else. One's body is part of one's self and it is just as necessary to learn what one's body needs and wants and what makes it comfortable and happy as it is to learn about emotions and things in school and what one is going to "be" when one grows up. What we look like is part of our whole self package, our bodies are not just clothes we put on or outfits we "make" to look a certain way; they're Us! It is all a balancing act and going overboard in any direction, whether it's intellectually, bodily, emotionally, or spiritually is not healthy.

A body's job is not to be "attractive" and there's no way to make it that way as everyone has their own idea of what is attractive! Deciding one wants a tall, dark and handsome male escort doesn't make sense so why do we decide wanting to be "thin" or to dye our hair blond is what "the" particular male we have in mind wants? I ate too much of the "wrong" food and didn't exercise over the last 25-30 years and I'm obese as a result. That didn't stop my attracting a husband/soul mate and getting my act together in therapy but still, I was/am unbalanced! But that's what our lives are for, to work toward balance, to work toward becoming more and more ourselves. I have about 25-30 more years of life (probably, given my ancestor's average lifespans) and who is to say what I'll weigh and what sort of health I'll be in when I die? I believe my weight gain helped me balance my mental health issues so I could function. It was what I "needed" at the time so I am not ashamed of my body, but rather grateful for what it has done/endured for me.