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Originally Posted by Icare dixit
For whom was that first depression caused by lack of stimulation, challenges or excitement? Too many challenges? Too little options? Or a combination?
Or was it you behaviour or that of others (maybe in reaction to your behaviour)?
Regina, is it fair to say it was too challenging, for you, at first? Or maybe too little distraction/stimulation, being away from home? Glad you did overcome that depression in time.
For me, the mild depression started after (quite extreme, definitely for a child) reactions to my behaviour, which was rather "out of control" (arguably it wasn't really). That it turned to severe depression really had to do with a lack of stimulation, lack of challenges and excitement, due to the total suppression of my "unhealthy" behaviour I began to display a number of years earlier (which caused the strong reactions).
Clearly, my behaviour was good for something. It was (and is) used to rationalise my failure, which is/was basically due to memory and emotional problems, but also my need to be more stimulated, largely due to my perceptual "problems", not seeing details, seeing things more in a reduced, abstract form, and thereby seeing less differences and change, basically.
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Being away from home and not knowing what to do was the trigger. I also felt more alone than anything. Since making friends has always been an issue for me, being in another state where I didn't know anyone didn't help. Fall semester I was able to get through with good grades, it was spring semester that really hit me hard. Plus the weather sucked, it was always cold, cloudy and snowing.
A few years later, I was diagnosed with MDD and an AD was prescibed, and as so many of us have experienced, I went hypo and began my journey with bipolar disorder..