well.. i feel guilty because i feel less than... i don't feel equal to others...
i feel i am damaged... i am ashamed... and i am afraid... but i wan't to change and have a miraculous life... but i can't... so the guilt starts.. and it is like a vortex... goes around in your head and amplifies... until you feel worthless... because you realize no matter how hard you try you can't... can't help yourself... can't help others... cant meet expectations... cant...
and when you try to explain to someone... or others close to you...
and they dont understand... or you get angry and frustrated and lash out in a way you dont mean to... or commit actions that you regret... abusing substances or harming yourself...
it is a vortex of shame and guilt...

Overcoming Guilt in Depression | World of Psychology

acceptance may be helpful... acknowledgement may be needed to move forward...