We have a son who dealt with ADHD and multiple problems in learning, etc. through school. He is 20 and working on his schooling and doing well now. We are at this point grateful school is going well since there was a point my only goal for him was to get him out of high school with a diploma ALIVE -- I do not exaggerate when I say that. He has always been a bit slower to find his direction; that's his personality and learning style, but he does get there. He and I were talking just yesterday. He has a plan for school that will probably take him another year. It won't be a 4-year degree, but it will get him some employable skills and he feels good about that. He said he's learned in college that he CAN do more than he ever thought he could, so his confidence is stronger now than it was at the end of high school.

He isn't working yet, but mostly that is due to our circumstances. We only have one car at this point, so it is hard for him to even get a job. However, we will be finally able to get a 2nd vehicle this summer and he plans to get a job at that point. But he has not sat idle. His contribution to the family and "job" this last year has been to do all of the driving and chauffeuring of the rest of us to our places of school and employment which truly is a significant contribution and occupies a great deal of his time outside of school. We don't give him an allowance, but he does live with us so his room and board at this point are his "pay" for his help with the driving. He also helps with the laundry, the cleaning, the grocery shopping, etc.

He has a plan to finish his schooling that should lead him to being on his own in a couple of years. I'm okay with that at this point. As soon as he gets his job this summer, he'll assist in paying for car insurance and gas.

I would encourage you to insist your son at least get a job while he goes to school to help pay for his books and then the allowance won't be needed either. He should have some responsibilities around the house. Our family has learned we all have to contribute to make this work --- particularly with the one car situation. It sounds like your son has an educational plan. In the meantime though, get him to work and at least financially contribute to his education and at least some other expenses and chores.