i am really glad i gave it to her at the end because i couldnt have taken sitting there another second watching her not know how to react. for some reason i feel i put her in a terrible position. i feel like ive done something really really wrong.
im really not doing well right now. so tempted to cancel the next appointment myself. shes going away for four weeks in october though so if i cancel now thats probably going to be it. i ll never go back. i feel thats what i should do but i cant bare the thought of leaving things like this. its too dangerous for me right now to do that. i need to have at least a glimmer of hope that shes still there.
thanks for the hugs.
((((((((((((confused))))))))))))))))