Welcome to PsychCentral, Mind key. When I get to laying awake at night worrying about my husband's death I try to think of specific things I'm worried about and then work to make them better. I had my husband write me a "paper" explaining our finances/investments and I'm trying to make more friends and get involved in more activities. I suggested we move to this townhouse so we'd have more people/neighbors "around" us than we had in our old rambler in the country, and so I'd feel more secure at night (fewer ways in and out and locks "better").

Try to think of specific things that worry you and concentrate on them and then the "general" fear of death or others dying might not bother you as much. If you're afraid of going to hell because you're not a good enough person, think of some things you could do that would make you feel better/would help your self esteem?

Yes, when my father died I switched to my stepmother and then realized I'd switched to my husband, etc. so it makes sense to me that you are afraid now that your husband's moles have been removed and you're waiting for results with them. My T gave me good advice when she said to keep putting one foot in front of the other; the more I stay in the "moment" with whatever is in front of me, the better off I am rather than worrying what might happen later. The more specific you can get your worries the better you can deal with them. Either refuse to think about things that aren't detailed enough to "mean" anything or else call their bluff and take them to their logical conclusion. Few things happen "suddenly" so realize you will have time and work to do that will help before A gets to B.