Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey
I think hmm is the vocal equivalent of the ellipsis...
I've been thinking about masquerade all day - to the detriment of all the work I need to get done  And I have the song from Phantom of the Opera stuck in my head 'masquerade... ...hide your face so the world will never find you'.
...
I think therapy is like a face off between masquerade and drama. Maybe. Wanting the safety of the mask, but needing the visceral realness of the drama.
Sigh, I love my T too, but... I'm longing for the day when I'll have people close to me that I can love in the same way, without the limits of the therapeutic relationship. Of course, real life will have its own limits... But... Sigh...
I'll get there, but in the meantime I'm just really, really lonely. |
Yes - the limits of the relationship. That. When I was fumbling for words trying to explain my use of the word masquerade, she was trying to explain something about it is a personal relationship but within professional parameters or something, I don't know. And I said but it's still within a bubble, and
I can't squish my feelings for you to just exist in that bubble. Today was one of those sessions I wish I had recorded, because I've already forgotten much of what she said. Interestingly she told me again today that I don't need therapy anymore, what we're doing is no longer therapy, but working on my individuation process. I just realized right now typing this that part of that is separating myself from her. What my break was about. Finding
me apart from
her. Sorry for rambling. I do some of my best work here on the couch!!
JS, I'm sorry you're lonely. You know, we really need to meet for lunch or something one of these days. Every time I'm up your way, h is with me and it's not the right time. I think I need a girl's day!!