Every session my T asks if I have had any suicidal thoughts and I always tell her no, even though that's not the truth. Well last week I decided I was finally ready to tell her the truth, it takes me awhile to open up to people and trust people and so I finally was ready to tell her. So when she asked me in our session yesterday, I told her yes, and I told her that I hadn't been truth ful when she had asked me before.
I thought she would understand that I was too scared to tell her before but she instead asked me a bunch of questions and told me that she wasn't sure she could trust me anymore. That made me so sad and feel so guilty because I really do tell her the truth about everything else it was just that I was afraid of telling her I was suicidal. But now I'm afraid she won't believe me when I tell her other things.
I just feel so sad and guilty.