So I've always defined myself as asexual because I've never really been interested in anything of a sexual nature with anyone. However, just recently, I got into a relationship with my one of my best friends and now suddenly I'm like... always ready to be turned on????? I guess it really comes down to the intense mental attraction along with the physical attraction which I have literally never ever experienced with anyone but her. So this is crazy new to me and I'm 22.

She's really happy with our sex life and all that jazz (which is a great ego boost considering I sometimes feel like I don't know what I'm doing) but I guess I'm still a bit nervous? I don't watch porn and I'm still really getting the hang of everything since I've never really even bothered thinking much about sex since it wasn't important to me. So I kind of feel like I've been tossed into the deep end since she's had other partners in the past and she's my first. She says I'm a really intuitive fast learner but I feel like I need to research and continue being creative but porn generally creeps me out and I really don't want to turn to my friends or etc. I guess it's intimidating because she knows herself really well sexually and I'm just kind of this awkward goofy person. She also says I'm way too in my head and need to just relax and have fun but I still get kind of nervous. I want her to have a good time. I even started jotting down notes of what she likes and she berated me for turning sex into a calculated mission lololol

I'm probably really pressuring myself because she's happy but I'm also competitive and want to be the best partner ever but I have no idea where to start!! Any tips? Or any tips to get out of my head? I have the most fun when I'm a little tipsy because then I'm not nervous and constantly thinking but I hate the idea of using alcohol as a crutch for having a good time with my girlfriend.