Please dont take this as "condescending" but I wish my problem was as (seemingly) clear as this (Im posed in the marriage section).

I know the guilt and self loathing VERY VERY well. I would say in the cases here it is fear of commitment or feeling forced to commit. As long as the other is married, you dont have to worry about them wanting a commitment. The real test of this would be if you would still find the same person attractive if they divorced.

As long as they remain married, they are not a threat to your freedom.