Granite, you are really doing wonderful. This feels impossible i know--but keep in mind that your husband and son don't hate you. Is it possible that they have NO idea what kind of pain your in? That it might be hard to see you when you are triggered, because they don't know what to do, or the depth of it all.

Also, try and remember that you are a SURVIVOR. You lived through hell, and came out the other side. I know what you are feeling right now FEELS like hell, but it is just all that old junk coming up and out of you because it wants to be dealt with. My therapist said we all have a "shadow" (dark) side, and when it doesn't get acknowledged, it gets louder and louder. I think your shadow is where all your pain is, and it seems like maybe it is just erupting right now.

At this point, I think its fine to keep your T at a professional level, because i could see how thinking about her caring about you is too much. That's ok. You are doing great work, and I am SO SO proud of you that you were so vulnerable with her!! This is a big step!