Quote:
Originally Posted by BrazenApogee
I so want to color dolphins with my T now.
The work is never finished. It is process. A Therapist who can look at themselves clearly and willing to take credit for counter-transference problems in the dyad is essential. This is the key to doing your own work before and while working with clients. .
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Very nicely put. Thanks for this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrazenApogee
I see alot of anger in your post, is this situation bringing up something for you? It may be good to look at transference. Who does this T remind you of? What do you feel when you are with this T, have you had these feeling before? .
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I think this is directed at me. And thanks for bringing it up. These are important questions to consider.
I think what bothers me so much about what MLS relates about her therapist and therapy is that these are the things I really, truly did
not want to happen in my therapy. Particularly when it comes to CSA, I was terrified that I would have this therapeutic narrative thrust on me where the most painful aspects of my experience were the “real work” that
must be excised in order for therapy to be of any use. That--to adapt what Favorite Jeans so succinctly said—I’d never be any good at therapy or life unless the therapist got to see me cry/barf/whatever while disclosing all the gory details of the abuse and the marks it left.
Now, if this—or something like it—has worked for other people in their own therapy, hey, great. I’m happy for them. I just think one should be able to choose one’s own narrative, choose how intense one will allow things to get, and have those choices be respected as legitimate (“real.”)
So, yeah, MLS’s situation hit a nerve because having a therapist tell me that I wasn’t doing “real work” unless I was discussing CSA was a fear of mine. It makes me defensive. It feels voyeuristic.
To my immense relief and surprise, my therapist did not (and does not) do this. Blessedly, he knows when to shut the **** up and let me color my ****ing dolphin.