Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
no I was not aware i had DID until I entered college psych class where a requirement of the class was to take diagnostic evaluations and enter treatment so that those who wanted to continue on to become mental health treatment providers could experience both sides...being a client and training for being a treatment provider.
my therapist and I set many goals over the years. my goals were on what ever happened to be my problem areas at that moment.
i did not have to worry about what to get out of therapy. people enter therapy to take care of their problems. my therapy therefore was to work on what problems I was having in my life. example if I was having problems with depression thats what my therapy was about, if I was having work related problems thats what my therapy sessions were about.
no i did not work at integration like you see in all these over dramatized tv shows and movies, yes integration just happened, here in my location integration isnt like the hypnotize and have a big bang at the end of treatment,
here in my location integration like in the link is the whole process of therapy...entering therapy for a problem, taking care of that problem and through taking care of my problems I gained more stability and abilities to handle my problems with out the problems triggering me to dissociation. as I was able to handle my problem everything that was my alters naturally merged together with me as one whole person.
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Hello again Amanda. thank you for your answer. Just like you, I am thinking most people going into therapy are there to work out their problems and whether depression or dissociaction of anything else comes up that will be incorporated into the therapy. I was referred to a therapist via a neurologist who I was referred to because of disabling headaches and memory loss. I had no idea I was dissociative or had DID and I eventually went into therapy because so much that I was experiencing made no sense to me.
I dont and wont watch any tv shows or anything else that is about DID so I dont know how it is portrayed or shown. I have no idea how integration is brought up or handled on these shows or anywhere else in the media.
The integration question I asked is because when I was finally aware or and had a name what was going on with me --and this was years after I had first met my psychotherapist-- I wanted to get it fixed. I wanted to do whatever I could to live as one whole self aware self identifying person. That was my goal, but as I say , this was after years of being in therapy without ever being told or knowing I had DID.
There were times however that I didnt know if I could go through with it . It wasnt that easy to give up those alters/functions. I had lived like that for so long I didnt know what a normal life would be like even as I longed for it. There was ambivilance. That was another reason I ahve asked about this.
That is why I am asking all the questions I always ask. I am trying to understand what things are common and what the variations are. I really want to understand how others have lived with, coped, and experienced this.
I guess because I did not ahve the usual personal history/life my being able to more fully understand DID fills in for what I lost all those years.
Thank you again, Amanda. Take care.