I think the best thing I ever did was to take an inventory job because we carpooled so it was practically impossible to walk off the job. I eventually learned how to fight through the rough times, soul crushing as they were, until is got suspended for being way too late too many mornings in a row and taking too many cigarette breaks--coping mechanism, but that's when I went and got my first prescription for lamictal. Thank you science! It was like waking from a very long nightmare that you could call 12 years without mess.