Don't hate yourself. I feel it's useless to go on many times, but it really isn't: once you see some improvement, and that's bound to happen, it is so liberating, it's like being rewarded for your struggles. And the struggle makes us stronger.

Try to focus on small improvements, any improvements in functioning, anything small you accomplished. And try to keep it up while looking for the next small improvement. Doesn't matter if things get worse, as long as you try to improve, one small step after another.

Hope you feel better soon.